Ooopa!
Elections are over. Now we can all breathe a sigh of relief and continue to get mortars coming in. Now, logic with me here a second. These people, in their infinite wisdom, have been fighting wars since, oh, roughly… we will just go with since time began. One would think, would they not, that they would have figured out the formula by now? Keep shooting things at people and they will keep sending people over to shoot back at you (and since we have more people than them, we win, at least eventually). Stop shooting and try doing something productive with your time like, say, rebuilding your sewage system, and the enemy will get bored and go home.
Then again, there are things for us to do here. Well, not us, but marketing people. We could win this thing with marketing. Let’s look at the Iraqi people for a second here. First of all, everyone smokes. Everyone. They start around age 15 and just keep going. Particularly the important people. The tobacco industry really doesn’t need to worry so much about the American bars going smokeless or the loss of money due to cancer lawsuits. Given the average life expectancy here anyway (AK-47 and RPG statistics included), you are looking at a pretty young age so they probably wouldn’t notice if people starting getting sick from cigarettes too. Move in the billboards, folks… I see large tobacco farms on the Tigris in the near future…
Marketing executives would have a lot on their hands if they came to work here, however. The country doesn’t seem to have gotten very far in things like slogan development. For example, the local water bottling company, Abaas. If you look above the name, you see in small print the slogan of the company: “Quality.. Exceeds.. Price.” Good to know, because the water is pretty cheap around here…
So we have seen that with the election of a new interim government continuing incoming, but furthermore the potential for further country-wide developments. Capitalism will come to this country as it has come to those invaded before it, and there will be dancing in the streets. Ooopa!