Lowest Common Denominator
Seriously, I am starting to believe that there is something dumb in the water out here.
Today I got a call looking for some help on something that falls well within the realm of our normal daily duties. So I said, “Sure, bring it by, we will see what we can do to help.” Turns out what we needed to do to help would simply be to gain a copy of the item, send it to our higher, wait for a response, give it to the right person. Seems simple enough.
Ah, or so I thought.
I obtained a copy through abuse of another unit who works in our building, because my unit has yet to see the benefit of giving us enough resources to, say, conduct our normal daily duties. The other unit finally figured out a way to assist me once they figured out what I needed through all of my expletives.
Then I called my unit and said, “Hey, we got this. How would you like it sent?” Response of, “Uh… hmm… well, see… uh… well, it isn’t really something we are interested in unless there is something we are directly involved in.” “What? Nevermind. Don’t bother to explain. Well, we don’t know if it is or not, that’s why we are sending it up for some help on it.” “Oh. Well… uh… no, not until you know.” “How am I supposed to know when that is your job to figure that out?” “Uh… good luck with that.” And the distinctive click of a hurridly hung up phone fills the receiver. I have yet to determine if the water out there contains dumb or lazy or just a combination.
So that started my day. I went into my boss and we discussed interesting ways to skirt the system, which we continue to attempt. Then he told me we have to come up with something to put on a public web page for our garrison so people know how to contact us and when to contact us. I told him to use large print and small words.
He argued this with me, saying that he didn’t want to dumb anything down just because I was unsure of the general intelligence of the population around us. He dismissed the events of the morning as an anomoly.
He ceased his arguments when for the third time that day, and it was still before noon, a soldier attempting to see the office downstairs rang our bell instead. The two offices are clearly labeled in large print next to the individual bells. When I pick up the phone and say our unit, I get the response (usually very confused and hesitant, and that is if they answer at all) that they want to see the office downstairs. It is usually all I can do to not ask them why they did not ring the clearly marked bell immediately beneath ours. The names of the offices are distinct. The typeface is bold. Their office bell has only three letters on it. I am considering changing our label to two letters, as my boss made the sign and made it obviously a little too wordy (four words) for the easily-distracted soldier. The bell ringing problem happens at least a few times each day, to our increasing annoyance.
Given the increasing frequency of stupid events, I am trying to carefully extract myself from the general population in case it is contagious. Plus I really need to go out and buy a new water filter…