I hereby declare a few pointers to the German medical system:
1) Taping a large wad of gauze to the bottom of the septum effectively blocks the upper lip, resulting in less than a convenience than you might think.
2) A single piece of medical tape is not enough to secure a large wad of (blood-soaked) gauze to the bottom of the septum despite you taping one end to the bits actually stitched into the nostril and the other bit to the side of the nose high enough to constantly be in the field of vision.
3) No, drinking through a straw is NOT easier when you have coated cotton crammed into your face so you cannot breathe through your nose and can’t move your upper lip because of a large wad of (blood-soaked) gauze blocking the way.
4) A weird cornbread-type loaf with yellow soupy stuff (sauce, maybe?) and yogurt with peach-bits for the third time that day does not count as dinner.
5) If you want to remove stitched-in bits from inside someone’s face, try cutting the stitches before you tug.
6) The brain you are poking while putting ointment in the sinus cavity is supposed to be there and was not a part of the bargain. Please kindly remove the cotton swab jabbing my frontal lobe before you discover just how uncomfortable a Q-tip can be.
Too little, too late, perhaps, but they reduced my sentence by a day for good behavior. They must have done well, as I did not get the black eyes or the swollen face that usually accompany such surgery, nor did my doctor get the aforementioned maladies from tinkering too close to my face without proper anesthetics pumped into my bloodstream first, and I have no need for painkillers though I did take the command up on their offer of ten days of convalescent leave to “get well,” meaning sit on my balcony with a magazine and a glass of wine and watch the cat chase flies all day.
All in all productive. I still snore, as I still cannot breathe for the time being as it starts to heal, but as I may have mentioned that is hardly my problem. What is my problem is trying to get through a 15 minute workout program without bleeding all over the floor and the cat to work off that bread loaf with undetermined yellow sauce… oh, and trying not to sneeze…