First of all, if someone ever offers an arthrogram to give them a “better picture” of something in your body, and then they say, “You might feel this,” brace yourself. That means you won’t just feel it where they are shoving the needle, which is into your joint which they are actually trying to separate by pumping it full of chemicals, because they already numbed that part. Where you will feel it is everywhere connected to that joint. No “might” about it. The best part was when the Captain said before shoving the needle in that “sometimes we miss and have to try again, but we hope not!” Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sir.
Given that I am allergic to the stuff they were shoving into my joint, and then later in the morning into my arm en route to my brain, they also warned me I would have to stick around for awhile after the procedure to make sure I didn’t have a reaction. Oh, and driving would be difficult. For about two days. So would things like, say, getting dressed and washing my hair. Thanks for the memo.
And lo and behold, they were right. Driving home was an experience. I can’t wait until tomorrow morning when I have to figure out what I am going to do for physical training with my Soldiers… oh, and then wash my hair and get dressed.
But I did get my MRIs accomplished, fun as they were, and then got a call from the endocrinologist, who already had the results from Xenu, who is still kicking around in the vicinity of the carotid artery in my cavernous sinus making a general problem of himself and causing headaches like commentary from Tom Cruise about the benefits of Scientology.
Xenu is holding strong. No shrinking, but they don’t think he has grown, either. They had been hoping that the blood supply would have been cut off from the surgery and he would shrink on his own, but no such luck. As such, they can’t really do anything with me until after the next MRI, which won’t be until roughly next August, or given the MRI scheduling backlog maybe by the year 2017. Then they can figure out what they want to medically chapter me for and just how badly they want me out. That process can take anywhere from six months to a year, mostly consisting of the joyous practice of sitting around waiting for things to happen. So I will remain in Germany until my current “Get-Out-Of-Germany Free” date of May 2010, after which I still will have a year of wandering around wherever they send me next should they still not have made a decision.
Ah, Xenu. All the drama of daytime television packed into a neat little egg crammed into my temple. If only he were a little more photogenic without me having to glow in the dark…