iraqistan

12/5/2006

Bang, Zoom, To the Moon

Filed under: — lana @ 2:05 pm

Yesterday an article came out about how NASA would like a permanent moon base sometime around 2020. I would like to point out that I would like a car that had wheels that turned even when it was pushed while in neutral or stayed on at stoplights, but sometimes we can’t all get what we want.

Regardless, it brought to mind how I have always wanted to be an astronaut. In fact, that was part of my ultimate plans for the whole military shebang, involving getting into the army, getting eye surgery, switching to the air force, flying some sort of supersweet high-powered aircraft, and getting selected to battle the aliens when they turned up to blow up the Earth just like in Independence Day.

No, I didn’t do drugs. Why do you ask?

Anyway, I got as far as signing up and getting the eye surgery. Beyond that I hit some speedbumps. Fighting terrorists is a backup plan. When the aliens come and start blowing up monuments in Washington, they will know where to find me.

But with NASA and their moon base, I recalled the Army astronaut program and figured I could go meet the aliens on their home turf. I sent my commander an email asking him if I could join, saying that they would need volunteers to man this moon base so I should probably start training soon. I even sent him a copy of the article, because I know how officers like proof. He wrote back saying that I am an intelligence collector and so what would I do on a moon base, as there is no intelligence on the moon.

I asked him how that was any different from being down here.

He wrote back and told me to get back to work.

I can never win with these people…

1 Comment »

  1. That’s like when NASA told me that there were neither couches nor video games on the Moon, and so were wondering what exactly I planned to do if they sent me there. I said, well in that case, screw you guys, I’m going home. But I do like space nonetheless. Even without couches and video games.

    Comment by Ryan — 12/5/2006 @ 4:17 pm

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