iraqistan

12/12/2006

Who Am I Part II

Filed under: — lana @ 8:42 am

Apparently, confusion ensues as to who exactly I think I am. Despite this question having been asked of me from various supervising non-commissioned officers and commissioned officers from time to time over my Big Green Tenure, apparently the answer is not nearly as easy as I once believed.

Today I came to work as usual. I sat down at my desk and put my ID card in the little ID card reader that allows me access to all things fun and exciting, like my email and CNN headlines.

I get a response that I cannot be verified, pound sand, don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

I try again and get the same response. I think I heard it laughing at me as well.

I call the local help desk folks and they tell me that for no reason at all the card has probably been locked, so I should come over to where they are, about a ten minute drive, and they will unlock it. I made it over there and they did whatever it is they do and said I was good to go.

Lo and behold, when I got back to my desk in front of the broken heater which broke right when the weather became particularly dismal, I got the same instructions, and this time I am sure there was giggling coming from somewhere in the annals of the harddrive.

Unwilling to go back over to the other base, I went across the street to another ID card office and asked the nice lady there after waiting 30 minutes when I was third in line and called in via a computer which sounded remarkably like a femal Stephen Hawking. She, the lady not the computer voice, was most sympathetic, but casually mentioned that since my main army email account is in my maiden name and my local email account is in my married name, the system sometime last night became convinced that I was two people and therefore cannot verify who it might be putting this ID card into the computer. I asked her if she was kidding. Apparently not, though I have been married three years and my card has been functioning perfectly on this system for about seven months.

The fun part is that no one seems to know how to fix it, because convincing a non-sentient being that I am in fact only one person and not two people is apparently quite a challenge. Nor do they know why last night the system suddenly made this arbitrary decision and shut off my account access.

So it appears I am once again of two minds, but both of them keep thinking the same thing: four more months…

1 Comment »

  1. If both minds are thinking “four more months,” does that mean you really have eight more months to go?

    Comment by Dad — 12/13/2006 @ 3:54 am

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