Filed under: — lana @ 1:07 pm

My one useful Soldier, whom I am about to give up anyway for the greater needs of the Army, is officially broken. He didn’t end up in a cast, but I think his brain is on vacation and forgot to book a return ticket back to my Soldier’s head.

Now, I have known he is not always the sharpest knife in the drawer for quite some time. But he is a good kid, good Soldier, might grow up to be a fine NCO once he learns to shut his mouth.

And stops doing things that are very, very dumb.

He came back from his month of training both bitter with me for having sent him and with a dent in his shin. Story went he was completing a task as assigned by his supervisors and hit himself in the leg with a sledgehammer. I decided that was a good time to just stop asking questions.

About a week later, the swelling had not gone down, so I sent him to sick call. In order to do so, I had to find out the rest of the story. Turns out he was told to use a post-driver (usually a metal-shafted, two-handed, heavy piece of equipment used to put posts into the ground) in place of a sledgehammer to complete a task because they couldn’t get any sledgehammers. My Soldier picked it up, swung it, missed his target, and hit himself in the shin.

What was the task, one might wonder?

Drive a few posts into the ground.

I sent him to sick call with special instructions to ask the doctor to check his head, too, and make sure he still had a brain.

Anyway, I had to send him back this week because his leg wasn’t healing. As luck would have it, the swelling was down enough for proper x-rays and he came back with severe shin splints, hairline fractures. I sent his profile higher and told him to go away before my brain jumped ship in an effort to save itself.

No results on his head. I am pretty sure I know the answer either way. The doctors apparently thought I was kidding. They must not have heard the whole story.

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